I Was Ready to Give Up
by Kathywrites
Summary: After these five years of this one sided love, I was ready to give up... Irie kun's family dragged father away on a vacation and left these two young ones at home by themselves, Kotoko had moments of doubt but things happened and she ended in the arms of her loved one. Rated M for adult themes ;D lemony goodness in here. c:


Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Itazura na Kiss.

This is my first fan fiction ever. Rate and feedback, I might write more and more detail :D

Kotoko P.O.V

Irie kun's family took a vacation and dragged father along with them, leaving Irie kun and me behind. It can't be helped we both had college soon and they're planning to be gone for a while. I sat in my room listening out for footsteps or Irie kun's voice. My love for him was overwhelming but unfortunately I have to let go, I can't keep falling if he isn't going to catch me. It will be painful but I must, I'll only be a bother if I continue this long one sided love I've had. I lost my train of thought by the rain that had started bucketing down.

"Kotoko, help me close the windows!" Irie kun called out from the other side of the door. I was startled by hearing his voice after all this time; I didn't even hear his footsteps creeping up to my door.

"Uh, sure," I called back as I stood up; in the few strides I took I reached the door only to find nothing there, he must have gone and started closing windows.

The cool air started enveloping me.

"C-c-cold!" I squeaked as I closed the remaining open windows.

I went back to my room assuming Irie kun was sealed away in his domain, I found him outside my door. I stopped in my path to take in the gorgeous man standing in front of me, the one who I'd wandered after these past five years, the one I had my heart on. An aching pain developed in my chest.

"It's time to start preparing dinner, what would you like?" He asked in his usual cold tone.

I looked at him in the eyes and wondered, is there ever any chance to break down those walls that keep you like this, will you ever change… Will you ever look at me?

"Kotoko?"

"Oh, uh, I'm not hungry tonight, I'm not feeling too well either, and I'll be going to bed first." I muttered.

His eyes glistened with curiosity; I looked towards my door to avoid those eyes.

"Are you okay, do you have a fever?" he gently rested one of his hands on my shoulder and the other was pressed against my forehead.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed "Leave me alone Irie kun, I just need to rest." I pushed past him. I shut the door behind me and collapsed against it; I couldn't not hold back the tears anymore.

Irie kun, your touch is what I want, your eyes on me is what I need. For you to love me is what I need, but I… I will never be the woman for you. Since the day you were up on that stage, I have fallen for you, more and more each day since living in this house. I crawled away from the door and into the warmth of my bed and the comfort of my pillow. The pillow was my shoulder to cry on, the one who kept my tears. I was slowly drifting off into a sleep, the rain had settled down a little, it was a soft pitter patter on the roof, it was calming.

My eyes had cried all the tears they possibly could; I heard a gentle tap at the door.

"Kotoko, can I come in?" a soft voice called out.

"No, go away," I managed to squeak, his voice which was once music to my eyes makes my heart crack.

"Kotoko, I'm coming in." he tried to turn the handle but I had locked the door.

"Kotoko…" a peak of light came through the door, he was standing there in the hallway he had a glow of light around him.

"Get out." I said bluntly, as I rolled over to save my red eyes the sight of his perfection.

I heard nothing, the next minute I felt his hands pull my shoulder over and he put both hands on my shoulders to make sure I wouldn't turn away.

"Kotoko, what is wrong, I can't sleep knowing the house has a depressed person living here, sleep in a valuable thing, and I also cooked too much food for me. You should eat it." He said sternly trying to look into my eyes. His voice was rather different; it had a different tone in it… Was he worried?

I remained quiet and avoided his eyes.

"Kotoko…" after not getting a reply he sighed.

"Irie kun, please, just leave me alone. You're making this harder for me." I whispered.

"If you're going to talk speak a little louder so I can hear you, idiot" he asked

That had done it, I glared at him.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Why can't you just leave me alone to rid this love I have for you, you're never going to fall for me, I give up, I will never be the woman for you… I'm stupid, clumsy, I can't cook, I can't do simple things and the only thing I'm good at is getting in your way." I sobbed. His hands tightened their grip around my shoulders. The pain in my chest was too much, my head was spinning, my heart was breaking, I could feel the aching growing. A lump in my throat appeared. Minutes had past, no one moved, nothing was said. He watched me crying, what an ugly sight it must have been.

"… idiot." He said

"Huh?" I murmured as he pulled me up onto his lap, his arms enveloped me. His fingers ran through my messy hair the other hand was on my waist making sure I wasn't falling. My heart was racing my cheeks were flushed. I had no idea what to do or say. I have dreamt of a moment like this to happen but not in a situation like this.

"Irie kun, what are you doing, let go of me." I wanted to say but I couldn't.

His scent was sweet, his warmth felt welcoming, and his head was rested on top of mine.

"You have no idea how much my life has changed because of you, it was boring before, going in the same routine every day, talking to the same people. Kotoko, you make my life better. You gave me a dream, a goal in life. Your smile, the shimmer in your eyes of happiness and determination, your soft sweet hair, you drive me crazy Kotoko." He tilted my head up so he could look me in the eyes.

"I never meant to hurt you like this, I didn't mean to make your beautiful eyes red, I had no intention of making you want to give up, but I will not allow you too, no other man will touch you… You're mine. I love you Kotoko." He whispered and placed his lips on mine.

Those three words, the second he had said it, everything felt okay. The aching stopped, my head was clear; my heart raced a little faster.

I pressed my lips against his deepened the kiss a little; his tongue weaved its way to explore my mouth. I grabbed the front of his shirt in acceptance of his move. I didn't want this moment to end at all. In this very moment, life was perfect, everything was perfect, I sat there hoping it wasn't a dream.

I broke the kiss his lips followed mine but stopped when he realised he needed to breathe as well.

He held onto my tightly and gently.

"I love you Irie kun,"

"It's Naoki," he picked me up and held me in his arms.

"Time for dinner," he grinned and carried me out there.

I held onto him as he was placing me down, I pulled him in for a hug, he responded by placing a kiss on the side of my head just above my ear.

"Kotoko, I need to cook you something to eat, I know you don't want to let go, but you do have a small fever so stay here please." He demanded softly, I let him go and smiled a little. I caught a glimpse of his half smile as he turned towards the kitchen.

I was lost in a daydream of fantasies until I realised he had returned with delicious smelling food.

I looked at the food with hungry eyes

"Itsudakimasu," I said and began devouring the food Irie kun spent his time making for me.

He watched me eating and chuckled as he sat next to me with his dinner.

"Kotoko." He said softly

I stopped and looked at him he wiped away small bits of food on my cheek, I believe in that moment my face was also bright red. He laughed a little more.

"Don't laugh at me," I whined and went back to eating my dinner.

We both finished and then did the dishes quickly.

After I put the last few items away in the cupboard I felt strong arms around me and lips and nose on my neck.

"You're scent is what drives me crazy," he whispered in between placing small kisses on my neck. I stood there with his arms around me, my eyes closed taking in the small pecks up and down my neck.

"Time for bed Kotoko," He said picking me up and carrying to my room.

He placed me down on my bed and turned to walk out but I caught his shirt and tugged it.

"Don't leave me here… Naoki." I whimpered "If you leave I'm afraid that you'll go back to being the mean person I am familiar with, the one who gave me a cold feeling, the one with his walls surrounding him with no way to get through."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked carefully.

"More than anything," I said, I don't know why he was nervous about it but he did not hesitate to enter the bed; he cradled me in his arms and twirled my hair around his finger. The moment I was in his arms, he didn't seem nervous.

"Better?" he asked after kissing my head.

"Much better," I whispered into his shirt.

The only problem was that I wasn't tired at all, my heart was racing I wanted more than this, I wanted him. I placed my head on his chest to listen to his heart, but to only find it racing as well… Is he still nervous about being the same bed with me?

"Your heart is racing," I informed him.

"So is yours." He retorted quickly, there was a hint of nervousness in his voice. I didn't understand why.

I titled my head up to look at him, his eyes were on mine, and his eyes looked as if they yearned. I smiled and kissed his neck.

"Kotoko…" he moaned "Kotoko… I want to make you mine completely." he whispered

"I'm ready, please take me." I demanded, he didn't move he just looked at me with scared eyes.

"Kotoko, I don't want to hurt you. I've already done that enough."

"…Naoki" I whined.

He flipped me over and pinned me down with my hands above my head, his mouth crushing mine. He straddled me; I could feel his hard member and was aroused by it.

"Naoki," I moaned as his placed kisses down my neck and removed my top and bra.

He took a minute and observed my bare chest.

"You're so beautiful," he said after he looked at my once again red face.

he kissed around my chest and nipple, licking, nipping and pinching at them. I moaned a little and felt warmth welling up at the bottom of my tummy.

I removed his shirt, and somewhere along the line in between kissing, cuddling and exploring each other our pants and underwear were removed, he remained leaning over me. He pressed his member against my wet womanhood. He hesitated and looked at me.

"Kotoko, please tell me when to stop if it hurts, or if you don't want to continue, I will stop."

"I'm ready," I said with a smile, after all this teasing, this new experience, my first love, was about to become my first time.

He slowly pushed himself into me, the overwhelming feeling just kept washing through my body, I winced a little and he stopped to let me adjust to him, I nodded my head for him to continue and so he did. After a while of him quickly moving himself in and out of me I had a adjusted, our breathing became harder. I was almost ready to come, the tingling feeling was welling around and ready to burst around me.

"Kotoko, I'm going to-to-"he moaned, he was nearing his climax as well.

"Keep going, release yourself inside me," I muttered

"Koto-"

"Naoki, please," I cut him off and moaned.

We both reached our climax moaning each other's name; he collapsed beside me and cuddled me.

"Kotoko, I love you." He whispered in my ear, I smiled and fell asleep.

Today was a really turn of events at the start of the day I was wallowing in a heap of depressed dark thoughts and now I am in the arms of the one whom I have loved for five years. Life is now perfect.


End file.
